LET'S MUG

2009-11-03T21:15:00.002+08:00

cool! RV's new campus at boon lay is so freaking awesome! just saw pictures taken by some teacher on facebook, i assume they had some kinda tour. and the place is like super new and super nice and super enormous, just totally great for a new school. wish i wasn't so old, then i could enjoy it haha. but surprisingly although it's white-based, it has very little blue or red on the facade. rather, the buildings are covered by mostly grey. but it still looks neat. the canteen is huge, the hall is even larger, and the parade square is like gigantic. there's the cool synthetic grass covered field, and garden on the roof, tennis court on the roof, and lecture theatres that aren't that huge (which is good). and the motto and 'RVHS' are like morphed into the architecture, which is nice. there are like gardens and ponds between classroom blocks, and a really cool staffroom which has 2 levels, and a circular staircase in the centre of it. ah, describing it just makes me wanna go there. RV students are so luckyyy!

2009-10-25T22:00:00.006+08:00

this is cool.

lol got it from http://www.wordle.net/. go try! this was done with my twitter posts. and it seems HAHA is what i like to tweet alot alot. (:

2009-10-25T21:09:00.002+08:00

it's been hard to feel worried for any exam, especially after 2 years in jc. yet it's now nearing As, and i don't seem to grasp the feeling of anxiety yet. it's like, words from my mouth say i'm worried, yet in my heart and mind, i don't really feel anything. life just keeps going on, and i take it in my stride. but i want to worry, i want to feel stressed, i want to just have exam pressures again, just one more time. without it, i'm afraid i can't do well for As, i really need the anxiety.

Os start tomorrow. for those sec4/5s, it seems it's a mammoth task ahead of them, surviving the exams. i don't really recall being stressed 2 years back, when it was my turn, but i guess i should have been, and not so apathetic now. wish i could hurriedly find back my exam stress and strive, just so i would have given myself a fair chance at a shot at the exams. i don't wanna regret anything.

seeing different ones with worry lines on their foreheads, sweat down their anxious faces, mugging like there's no tomorrow, i don't know what to do anymore. i'm so unlike them, living my slow and steady and slacky life, cool and calm, everything's just not right. if only stress was contagious.

2009-10-20T00:10:00.003+08:00

it's been a rather horrific day for me. 11 dec 2009, NS enlistment. no cruise. no enjoyment. why must it come so early? something to look forward to after the Alvls just disappeared in the blink of an eye. and yet, with all that's going on these past few days, i really can't bear it anymore. 2 years back, and i would have been emotional, i would have surely acted different. but yet i've grown so cold-hearted and hard that i can't feel anymore. no feeling, no emotions. just a heart devoid of expression. i know i did the right thing. surely voicing opinions cannot be wrong, can it? what's more, it really isn't something false. i believe in what i believe is right. and it is time that someone made a stand, than allow a typical stubborn child to get his way with sensible adults giving in. putting it down to three things, self pity, self denial, self centeredness.

anyway, after the Alvls, i hope to totally forget about my njc life, and put it behind me. i do not wish to let unhappy memories blight my youth, looking back, maybe going to njc was such a bad choice after all.

2009-10-19T23:52:00.001+08:00

experiences do not maketh the man, but yet they influence ourselves. many ppl say that the place that defines you is either your sec sch, or your jc. after 2 years in njc, i still have to admit, rv was the place that defined me. it is just so hard to describe rv. the people there are just unique in a certain way, and each is not afraid to be pals across ccas, across classes. rv left me with wonderful memories, extraordinary friends who will stay with me for a long time. moulding my character, my personality, rv has made me who i am today. compare this with njc. much of njc life is not really pleasant, meeting all sorts of horrible people who have destroyed me in some way or another. despite this, there are of course some friends in njc that are different from the rest, and these i treasure. there is just some sort of uneasiness between people in njc, no such camaraderie that i can identify with. and yet, in these 2 years, i can say i've been a worse person than i was 2 years ago, due in part to the negative external influences that have blighted my stay in njc. graduating out of njc, i don't really give a damn, no feelings, nothing. compare this to graduating out of rv, and it's a whole different story. sadness, a sense of loss, that was rv. i couldn't bear to leave the school and part with my friends. while njc, what the heck. i don't feel anything for this school that has in fact not equipped me with much, rather most of njc life is unfortunately forgettable. someday i shall look back at my youth, and i would definitely say, rv has defined me.

2009-10-18T21:28:00.002+08:00

i decided i've gotta post, after what apparently has happened.

professionally, teachers are supposed to teach their students the right way of doing things, helping them in their studies, and listen to their problems (okay maybe not this one). all this is done out of a passion for their students, a desire to see them grow up to be good upstanding citizens who can contribute to society, as well as being academically equipped to meet the challenges of a changing world. teachers do not expect anything in return, as they derive their sense of accomplishment from seeing students succeed, and knowing that they have played their part in that fulfillment. maybe they get their 'payback' sort of through their wages, but all else is additional and should be seen as a luxury good, and not a necessity. i mean, what kind of teachers expect (here i repeat the word, EXPECT) something in return from their students, just because they feel they have done such a good job and their students should (SHOULD) show some form of gratitude that is tangible? it's just not right for a professional job. sometimes, some students might want to express their thanks through lavish gifts and other means, but it's a choice of the students. and for all they know, their students might be so grateful and indebted to them deep down in their hearts, just that they do not wish to express it in the form of gifts or otherwise. after all, there are 5 different languages of love, namely, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, and physical touch (this may not be applicable). but it is just unbecoming of teachers if they want something in return for all their hard work, as in the analogy, it is not a right, rather it is a privilege.

as written on the MOE website:

Not everyone can be a teacher. Not only must you have the passion for education, you need to know how to engage the students in their learning, be a good role model and an inspiration to them and prepare them for the challenges of life.

A teacher is the heart and soul of a class, the pulse that keeps a lesson lively and engaging. Teaching as a career is an exciting journey filled with challenges and rewards. You play a critical role in nurturing the spirit of innovation and the passion for learning in our young, grooming them into all-round individuals. In turn, you will grow both as a person and a professional. Come take up this meaningful career and experience the wonders of teaching.

inferring from this, teachers are wonderful professionals who derive their pleasure from seeing students be grow as individuals and more. students are not required to give their teachers anything, be it gifts or others. rather, they can just be the best they can, succeeding academically and not being their teachers' worst nightmare. that should be sufficient for professional teachers, and not teachers who love little presents given to them for their effort put in over the year. a little gift should be something appreciated, and not something demanded, and even if there is none, teachers can and should take pride in what they have accomplished, and that is sufficient.

okay i'm done, wow it's a long post. and i just want to say, if we're gonna give anything, showing gratitude comes from the bottom of your heart. don't let it be that a motive (like u have to be grateful just so u get what u need) lurks in the deepest depths of your heart. because that is not true appreciation.

2009-10-01T22:50:00.002+08:00

got back certain results today. not gonna post current results, but likely results: chem E phy E maths C. what a surprise. maths is like the least expected, yet i am really glad it turned out like this. as for chem and phy, i guess it was expected to be like this, considering i slacked off towards the end of the exams and just let chem and phy rot. but seeing these results carry me to Alvls is scary. and i hope i will do something about it.

so, it's finally reached october. the last stretch onto the defining moment. all the stress, hard work (or not), everything culminates now. it's also the time jc life ends. bittersweet.

2009-09-29T21:08:00.003+08:00

let's see, i think i shall blog today. since people have been asking me to blog hor.

went seoul garden at ngee ann city after school half day today, had a good and massively filling lunch with the class. plus some weird camera shots and the loads of laughter we had. it was really enjoyable, supposedly to be an end-of-prelims celebration, though it was long over haha. and then the poking of tofu, the frying of dry ice, and of course, not to forget, the celebration of the sept/oct birthdays! haha it was funnn. and i realised some girls can just eat alot alot. girls ownage, guys pwnage.

walked to ion orchard for a wee bit after the lunch, and then headed home. but not after looking at the crazy guy that gina is so crazy over. and of course she took a ton of pictures with that cardboard life-size picture of the guy. wow girls like gina are just so crazy.

and as it goes, its soon then school's gonna be over. but not after the incessant consolidations and whatever crap that's boring me out. as it is, my prelims are really screwed, so i have to really go for it. and i hope i'll still be surviving at the end. it's a journey of life and death.

2009-09-08T22:40:00.002+08:00

ah my foot is finally sorta ok. went for some cutting (or rather digging) of my foot last saturday, cos i got some kinda stupid viral ward. then was kinda limping for the past few days. tonite went to remove the big bandage and now it's almost ok, in the sense that i can walk almost normally. but for it to heal, maybe a few long weeks more.

hmm and i thoroughly enjoyed my last few days of holidays. watch tv, on facebook, just enjoying away, though i was supposed to study. but i was too lazy lah. argh wonder when then i'll get into the mood. but tomorrow i shall study. (:

hmm and recently few ppl have been coming online or on facebook. must be the mugging disease.

2009-09-04T21:20:00.003+08:00

why is maths so difficult. almost everyone said the paper was easy, and yet i'm on track to fail. i just don't know why i can't see some things when it's so easy to see. and then it prevents me from doing the question. maybe it's due to the lack of practice again. but i actually know that i definitely spent more time on maths than econs, instead the results are the opposite. just like the common tests. and it just keeps denting my confidence in maths, till i don't even have the will to try solve a question anymore.

today i was like restless after an hour, seeing all the 'cannot be done' questions in front of me. yet i tried to solve the questions one by one, to no avail. lapses of concentration just kept pulling me away from the paper itself, and i found it so hard just to find the strength to continue to try out the questions. in the end, i just counted my confident marks, and it amounted to a paltry 35/100. i really hope i can do better in the stats paper to pull me up, but the stats paper still consists of 40% pure maths sian. why why why.

2009-09-03T13:06:00.001+08:00

yesterday night, the longest i ever stayed up during exam period. 3.30am. but even so, i didn't manage to study finish econs. nvm today i think i did well enough to pass. and now i'm so so tired, so i guess i'm gonna sleep first. maths tomorrow. hope it's not another horror story.

2009-09-02T14:10:00.002+08:00

well, gp's over. i dunno how i did, just hope it would be pleasing in the sight of the gp tutor who marks my paper. as usual, i took really long in deciding my essay topic, all of them i have no confidence in. but i just chose one which i thought would be the safest, which was the income inequality one. compre wise, i have no comments.

now up for econs and maths. just feel so numb towards both. i hope i can at least read finish my notes. then i can only hope for the best.

2009-09-01T00:36:00.005+08:00

feeling really down now. i just dunno why i'm so like that. despite everything, i just can't study fully. or maybe it's cos i'm not trying. maybe i've been giving myself excuses all this while. just thinking of the scenario at the release of Alvl results next year at the rate i'm going makes me tear. i mean like, next year, thinking of yourself just getting the results slip, unfolding it, one glance at the horrible grades, then running out of the hall, searching for a place to hide, to cry, to just physically remove myself from the world. and just thinking of that person, that person that would follow me, comfort me, provide shoulders for me to cry on, it's just so saddening.

i really dunno what has happened to me this 2 years. isit cos of the environment? or the way i've been influenced. it's so scary. so horrifying to think that this couldn't have been the case 2 years ago when Olvls were around.

and then i decided to try this app on facebook. it's called 'On This Day, God Wants You To Know...'

this is what it returned me:

On this day of your life, Joseph, we believe God wants you to know...
... that to worship God you must go beyond words to speak with your heart.

You can mouth the words of a prayer all day long and just waste your time, unless you also speak with your heart. And to speak with your heart means to embody first. If you pray for love, be loving. If you pray for wealth, be generous. If you pray for health, practice health yourself. What is your favorite prayer? How can you begin to embody it?

and it just totally stumped me with what it returned. of how long i've been actually praying futile prayers without doing anything concrete. of how i've been giving up on God when the prayers are not answered. of how far i am from Him that i didn't care. of how now, i pray for Him to help me in prelims when i don't even work hard and slack most days away.

i am so emotionally unstable now, and worried for my prelims and As. just want to use every minute tomorrow and hope that God would do a miracle. for you will when you believe.

2009-08-25T19:38:00.003+08:00

ah what a wasted day at school today. reached school late, then went for maths (the only useful lesson today lol). after that had like 3+ hours of free period, cos mr low didn't come and econs was useless. then went for GP. played my hp game lol.
at least after school went subway to eat! saw yuheng and raffles there lol, with a whole bunch of unrecognisable rv guys. and it was fun talking about a certain someone! :p

now that's the end of my week at school. next 3 days not going school, mugging at home. maths and econs. hopefully can finish in time for next wk's papers! wonder how the class size will turn out tomorrow haha. mrs teai would be shocked.

2009-08-21T19:42:00.001+08:00

the rain after school was so unwelcome. after a long week, what weather to end it off. gloomy gloomy.
hmm nowadays no one seems to be going online anymore. it's like a drought of people. must be all mugging, and cutting down on such activities. maybe i should do so too, but i feel so connected to the com that whenever i come home, i just must switch it on and load facebook. haha. addiction.

looks like i won't be going to school much next week. need the time for focused revision of econs and maths, both very scary topics in my opinion, considering i haven started on either (and have forgotten everything). and yet again the stressful period looms. just hope i'll turn out alright.

2009-08-19T20:02:00.000+08:00

life in njc. has it all been good? it's about this time when u start to look back at these 2 years, and what it has done to your life. so fast, and everything's ending, just about when it started. orientation, coming into njc, seemed like yesterday. and then the fast pace of school life, brings it to an end quickly. now it's time for the a levels, and then we'll all go separate ways. it would also be the end of the 'planned' education years for all singaporean children, and now up to us to decide where to go onwards.
what a big decision, and how old we are now. we are on the brink of stepping out of our child/youth days, and learn what it means to be an adult. to make decisions, to work. and the end of meeting day to day friends in school. separation is inevitable, and yet, i don't want this to end.

the end of a phase of our lives, and the start of another. what a big difference it will be next year.

2009-08-14T21:18:00.000+08:00

and so the cruise is confirmed. 9-11dec on superstar virgo! five stars tours rocks. though the travel agent in charge didn't really know much and had to keep asking her colleague. lousy. oh and the raffles city auntie anne's chocolate pretzel was like so nice. cravings haha.

ah sian i've been feeling this way for some time already. when u do more of something, u get more uncertain. because u find more uncertainties that make u feel that u don't actually know how to do it. that's what's happening with all my 4 subjects sian. especially maths. i just can't find the faith in maths anymore. i've been disappointed too many times before. and i'm so unsure that i can't go on without having to refer to the answers every now and then when i'm practising. it's so horrible. argh.

what can i do? i'm not sure. i'm just doing what i can.

2009-08-12T21:42:00.000+08:00

today after school went to people's park complex with mel and mandy to try to find better offers for the cruise. turns out the original five stars one got the cheapest deal. argh but then the date is a concern. especially for me. i dunno whether i can pass my napfa sian.

so tired now. yesterday PTM, walk so much. today, again walk so much. my legs really sore now. and i have no mood to do maths. argh i always feel this way after a day at school. wish school would just close down. and i'm sure all of us would do better in our prelims. oh whatever. its 21 days left. gotta do it.

2009-08-11T18:48:00.000+08:00

wah just ended the duty at PTM. wah sian it was quite interesting bah, but really really tiring. finding teachers, guiding parents, everything took alot of effort. legs totally jellied after the thing. think my stamina's down lol. anyway had a talk with ms ng haha with weesiang. sucks i think i really considered slacking now compared to other people. haven done the SAJC and RJC prelim papers also. ahh i promised her i would do tonite, but now i'm so freaking tired.

and the cruise lol. hope everyone can go. then it'll be real fun. but up till then, i'm still thinking of prelims argh. how i'm gonna survive with 22 days left. i'm so dead. help. and if only my body didnt need so much sleep, perhaps i could work a little harder with the time i give up sleeping. argh jiayou bah!

2009-08-10T17:50:00.000+08:00

haha went to prima tower near vivo today to eat lunch. it's the only revolving restaurant in singapore. was fun seeing the skyline change as we ate lol, from the telok blangah flats to the port of tanjong pagar to sentosa to vivocity. and the food was good. haha.

okay and tomorrow's a return to boring old school life. at least today there is a holiday. and yesterday's ndp was nice haha! a break from the past, with music throughout the whole parade. plus the fireworks were nice. (:

oh and chelsea won the community shield!!! :D

2009-08-08T12:50:00.003+08:00

hmm saw this very interesting note by someone on facebook. apparently i've ever thought of this kinda things before, and as i was reading, i kinda understood what the guy was trying to get at.

--
"What if one day, you disappear from your school, your ministry without a word, without a sound. Would it make a difference to anyone? Would anyone chase after you, or dismiss your missing as nothing but mere backsliding?

When the world tells you how much they can't count on their 'brothers' and their 'girlfriends', what would you believe? When dreams placed in your life are dismissed as just being early or even you don't know if it's real... what would you do?

Are you just a function? A button people press to activate a device, like 'i need encouragement' or 'please get this ready tomorrow'. Do you think you're more than that? Or perhaps being a function IS your identity?

The ones who are at the bottom are lifted up by graciousness, the ones who are at the top are pruned and nurtured to be great marks of history... but what happens to those in-between?

Perhaps it is not the lowly who are more marginalised, but those who are stuck in-between."
--

identity. that is all there is to it. are you that important to others such that when you disappear, people actually question your whereabouts? are you just a tool of convenience that people use just cos you're available? or are you more than that, someone who is a friend in more ways than one? and are you being made to feel less important just cos you are neither at the top or at the bottom? is this what the education system is trying to drive at?

questions, all without answers. you'll never know until you find out. cos you can't make yourself. it is what others say that make you. cos ultimately, you don't live for yourself. you live for others.

2009-08-07T14:28:00.000+08:00

haha today's NDC was quite crappy. the parade in the morning was funny, the house performances were lame, and the singing was horrible. although i have to admit the guy sang fairly well in english.
anyway well now is the mugging weekend. must not waste this long weekend away since it comes rarely.

and haha i've added my twitter feed above. for your viewing pleasure. (:

2009-08-06T21:29:00.001+08:00

national day celebrations tomorrow! no lessons. a break from the mundane. thankfully i'll have this whole weekend to study and catch up with everything. (:

2009-08-05T22:08:00.006+08:00

no regrets. that's all i hope for. and being around weesiang it's hard to be quiet. u just can't. he's too influential in the noisy way. haha. and such a good friend he is. he can always make me laugh.

so i guess i've gotten over the crap. thanks everyone who tried to encourage me. now i just need to carry my momentum through. and i've decided to heck all teachers already. i do what's best for myself. if i think they're wasting my time, i won't bother to do according to their plan. because ultimately i know myself best. (:

2009-08-04T19:40:00.003+08:00

no one seems to understand. but i didn't expect anyone to, anyway. its complex. but thanks if u tried. seems like i should just drop out of jc now. its useless to continue anyway. and then maybe i should have made the right choice all along. a poly diploma doesn't seem so bad. what have i done? wasted my life. they don't even believe in me, what's the point of carrying on? and what makes teachers capable of teaching if they don't even care about how u do and hold a biased attitude towards u? giving up seems like a better option. than to continue this misery and end up with more misery. and i hope those teachers don't screw up any more students with what they've been showing. i don't want anyone else to feel the same way as me, its just not right.

failure. stupidity. insecurity.

its these that define me now.

2009-08-04T18:12:00.003+08:00

... and a little time to think ...

quiet little moments in time. shut out all the noise. thinking. and then it hits me. like a whole weight pressed on me. can't get it off, can't get it off. why this sad truth? the world is better than this. cos nothing can be changed, so late in time. to nothing, to nothing.

4As. is that even thinkable now? how is it possible? and that so longed-after course in uni that i wanted to take just seemingly vanishing. why? and then triggering a series of thoughts. of time, of failure, of despair, of insecurity. of whatever that has been suppressed since so long. such a feeling of stupidity, of endless questions, and no answers. the feeling of knowing everything in sec sch was so good, like ppl were actually asking u about stuff. now its the opposite, and its a long list of endless questions that no one will tolerate. its demoralising, it helps, but the more i ask, the more i feel stupid. and that hurts my confidence. then the problem of time crush. wish i could stay home and study, and not waste away my energy at school. its useful, but not everyday go school. time is needed to revise also. and the fact that i get so tired after school everyday doesn't help me complete my homework. so its an unendless vicious cycle of never ending homework, tiredness, and never actually doing anything helpful for prelims. its worrying when u don't see an A in sight, not cos u can't, but cos of repeated failures that dent confidence, and of a lack of time to study.

and them. them who think we have 24 hours everyday to work. them who think we don't need to sleep. pls la, give us so much work to do, think we won't have a lack of sleep and then inevitably fall asleep in class meh. we are humans HELLO. and all your work is mostly useless if we haven't even revised oh for goodness sake. logic seems to be missing from their brains. and if u have an intention to help, ask our opinions please. don't do things your way and expect us to do well cos u're not meeting our needs in any way. showing care and concern w/o real action is useless.

oh shit its a screwed up life. if only i could be the way it was, and everyone understood, then life would be a better place. but sadly its too late for any of that. nothing good can be done now. this screwed up world lives on.

2009-08-03T17:38:00.003+08:00

haha! tennis today was fun! but its the first and last time i'll get to play it! haha today was phototaking. in the morning, kahhan, weesiang and me style hair lol. then was like so cool using moving rubber. much better to style than my wax at home lol. and kahhan looked shuai-er lol.

anw we ponned the whole phy lecture to go take photos. and like mrs teai didn't have clue. but it was fun. haha.

and then today the cake was awesome. dunno buy from where, but it tasted like so gooood. forgoing my rice to eat that was a good decision haha. too bad weesiang didn't get to eat it.

oh and prelim timetable was out today. it's like 4 weeks to prelims, i'm so dead. maths econs and gp before holidays. at least we're better than AC. heard their's starts in 14 days. so sad. no time to mug liao. oh shit i better start. help!!

2009-07-30T23:44:00.003+08:00

haha cyberfair platinum award! finally confirmed after like 2 months after the original results release date. and then i can include in the top 3 achievements thing officially liao. so glad the not maximum effort put in can get platinum. at least i didnt waste my year in it club.

wah today was another day of sleep. after school came home sleep until now. just had my dinner lol. my sleep is getting back to the old ways and it isn't beneficial at all sian. but there's really nothing i can do cos my studies will cut into sleep time and if not, i'll never find time to do everything.

students lead such stressful lives. all because of the education system. at least math lecture today was relaxing. mr neo was so funny. till the point that i didn't really get anything from lecture today. oh well it was a good break from the usual. he seriously can't teach. joke only.

anyway, time for EM/EMI now. gotta go.

2009-07-29T21:50:00.002+08:00

lol the house session today was crap. the new solaris councillors are totally like the previous batch lor. and they came up with such a wonderful game that can u believe it, everyone was actually SIAN playing it. lol it was some form of musical chairs all centered in the hall, and s18 just hecked the whole thing haha and sat by the side as spectators. when they played, it was less musical chairs and more a funeral lol. walk so slow, sometimes even stationary. game failure. then we left like 15mins earlier haha. waste time being there.

and today was a really tiring day for me. yesterday nite slept at like 2am then today no energy lol. was watching the phy lecture video on facebook haha which was like a rendition of 安静 by jay chou. then aft that one of those hwa chong dota pros started chatting, so chatted till late. haha. interesting nightlife him. sleep from 5pm to 12am then the whole 'morning' do work. and he was like jealous over how nj starts sch later than hwa chong haha. fun chat.

and i still cant stop playing championship manager on my phone. so addictive. heh heh.

2009-07-28T19:20:00.003+08:00

championship manager 2009! shit i'm getting hooked on it. and weesiang too. haha. anyway it's really fun. should go try it.

haha and an interesting conversation back home. so many things point to him, but he still doesn't get it. if whatever u think or say or do still doesn't cause the cold hard truth to change, then stop wasting your energy and time thinking about it. give it up and devote precious time to other stuff. but as i can see he only listens to one person, so that's too bad.

just remember that whatever decision u make, u are the most affected. so no one outside of your world (which is almost everyone) would really care, honestly. so make the right decision, and stop harping on the past. there are still many opportunities in life to take. don't waste them.

2009-07-27T22:00:00.002+08:00

had a great evening nap. now's time for work! heh heh i feel refreshed after the long day in school. oh man tomorrow got chem consol. then i still got hwachong phy paper 1, 2 and 3 to do, plus the definitions to study. so much sian.

it seems as if my econs is going down the drain. other subjects focus so much on theirs then like i never have time to mug econs. and its like one of the most volatile subjects to me now. haiz i dunno how i'm gonna do for prelims. and supposedly econs will be tested before the hols. that leaves me with 4 plus weeks to study. but at the rate mrs teai gives me phy and chem every week have to do revision package, i have no time. sian this sucks.

2009-07-26T22:10:00.002+08:00

5-0 to liverpool! haha it was an entertaining match, ended up watching almost the whole thing despite the original intention being just to sneak a peek.

haha great to see torres and alonso on the pitch! and the fans were like super biased la, always cheering for liverpool and never for singapore. sad thing for the national team then.

anyway as usual i've wasted away the weekend again. sian la didnt even study half of the inorganic chem, and nothing else done. i am so dead. but i dunno, it was worth it watching liverpool play bah, it's a rare chance to see them in singapore!

haha sian i've gotta buck up now. dunno if it will be of much use, hope to progress at least a little further! then tomorrow can continue. damn tired now. siann.

2009-07-25T21:10:00.003+08:00

haha realised i've been chatting alot with these 3 ppl the past wk over msn. all over different things. haha. but its refreshing to live a different life nowadays, no longer cooped up with a few ppl but getting to interact with more ppl. i like the feeling. (:

and i realised this weekend is piled high with stuff to do, something that seems impossible to finish now considering i have only studied abit of inorganic chem today and left only half the day tomorrow. sian i really don't wanna fail the phy test on mon and give her a bad impression leh. at the same time i also don't wanna fail chem, or i'm in deep shit.

aiyo so hard to balance between the two. i feel so helpless.

2009-07-24T19:20:00.004+08:00

don't worry, be happy! (:

ahahahahah! it's the weekend yet again! but this time, i'm not gonna slack it away. time is running out. i must work hard.

anyway got back the last of my results finally today. so phy - S, chem - D, maths - U, econs - E, gp - E. what lousy results. just glad i managed to pass gp on the dot with 45 marks.

argh sian i better go do my phy definition list now, or i'll never get it done. so many things to do, so little time.

2009-07-24T00:00:00.003+08:00

i dunno whether this is useful or not, but i found this for u and whoever else who needs it.

cos when u think all hope is lost, u can turn to Him. (:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matt 6: 25-27, 34.

2009-07-23T21:40:00.002+08:00

If I never get to see another rainbow
Or share another laugh with a friend
If I never stand barefoot by the ocean
Or get to kiss my child goodnight again

If I never have another prayer that's answered
Or have another blessing come my way
If this is all I know of heaven's kindness
Father, I would still have to say

You have been good
You have been good
And I am in wonder how it could be

You have been good
You've been so good
In so many ways You've been good to me

Suddenly if it all were ended
And your blessings disappear
Looking back over a lifetime
The evidence is clear

You have been good
You have been good
And I am in wonder how it could be

You have been good
You've been so good
In so many ways You've been good to me

2009-07-23T19:20:00.003+08:00

argh, why do i feel so demoralised? seeing everyone understanding everything, it's hard not to feel lousy and left out. how i wish i understood all that there is earlier, and then i could be spared from this horrible feeling.

is it over yet? yes, they tell us, but no, i don't wish to believe. i really wanna do well (who doesn't anyway) but i just dunno how it can be done. seeing things ahead, the future just looks so bleak. seems as if everything i try or do is falling short of what is needed.

and looking at all of my 4 subjects, i cant help but feel so helpless. oh God pls help me. :'(

2009-07-22T16:55:00.002+08:00

back from school. today was ok, got back econs. thank God i passed, or else i would have ended up with another failure. sian i feel so bad for all u ppl who failed. i should be one of them, cos i also only studied the day itself and ya managed to pass. thankfully i didnt. (:

argh and talking about school, i'm just so pissed with this particular person. dunno why but ya. really can't stand him anymore. damn proud and whatever la, results so gd yet always pretend lousy and make ppl feel bad. aiya take back results also talk so much like the world revolves around him liddat. damn irritating lor pls. insensitive crap.

2009-07-21T23:00:00.004+08:00

thanks to all who wished me happy bday today! :D

lilin

xinyue

gideon

zhixin

judith

inez

serming

jerrold

siqi

gina

melissa

tingyun

yangsheng

changlok

leon

daoxuan

lizhu

amanda

pinglin

edison

melody

kimyong

shermaine

weiyuan

murong

ryan

calvin

pengjie

zhihao

juehong

shiyun

aza

antonio

tiffany

norman

rossellini

junjie

yangzhi

jonathan

sidney

martin

jolene

hazel

kahhan

shaun

huiyi

rachael

ka tsun

tricia

2009-07-21T22:02:00.003+08:00

just had dinner at 日本村 at jurong west lol. nice dinner, thanks to those who went (ll, jh, ros, jj, edi). (:

haha and thanks for the present too! like it lots.

ahh just realised tday was quite a relaxing day actually. and not really a mugging day. but aiya, bday must enjoy mah. cannot mug and spoil the mood haha.

tomorrow back to sch. back to the same old thing. and tomorrow got econs. die. my fate is sealed. :/

2009-07-21T09:44:00.002+08:00

what a wonderful morning it is today. can sleep until so late sia. feels so good.

haha woke up and saw like 10 new smses all wishing me happy birthday. thanks everyone who remembered. (:

ah don't really feel like mugging now leh. but sian there's so much to do. think i'll go do chem ideal gases for fri.

and anw tonite i'm going out cos some really nice ppl want to celebrate with me haha.

oh and i just joined twitter too. haha so many ppl (considerably) use it so i thought why not give it a try. so here i am on twitter, giving one-liner updates. quite fun.

2009-07-21T00:00:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! (:(:

2009-07-20T18:58:00.004+08:00

i'm in a really good mood now. dunno why.
perhaps its cos i took just 2 hrs to complete this blogskin and revamp my dead blog. haha. its been so long since i last blogged.
thinking of that, a rather apt theme for a rather apt time. "LET'S MUG", why not? its a friendly reminder to everyone that its really time to get down to serious mugging lol, although by now i doubt few aren't doing so.

argh. what about me.
been feeling weird over the weekend, and today too, just so unmotivated and apathetic. i dunno what's wrong with me. studying seems to be the last thing on my mind this few days. its so hard.
thanks to everyone though who encouraged me somehow over these few days. i can't say how much it meant to me. well, for u who seemed so tired and distant today, i hope you're fine. and jiayou man, i believe u can do it.

and today lee wee siang decided to bet with me haha. a swensen's treat for whoever that does better for prelims. i hope that's me, but i do hope its u too. after all, you're one smart guy too.
but anw, let's mug k wslee. together we can do it. haha.

its been such a long day with the kinda useless maths after school thing, feeling tired right now. but i'm also happy.
>< conflicting emotions lol.

perhaps i'm hyped up about tomorrow. xD

2009-07-20T18:18:00.001+08:00

hey everyone!
this blog has been officially relaunched! :D