LET'S MUG

Sunday, October 25, 2009

10:00 PM

this is cool.

lol got it from http://www.wordle.net/. go try! this was done with my twitter posts. and it seems HAHA is what i like to tweet alot alot. (:

9:09 PM

it's been hard to feel worried for any exam, especially after 2 years in jc. yet it's now nearing As, and i don't seem to grasp the feeling of anxiety yet. it's like, words from my mouth say i'm worried, yet in my heart and mind, i don't really feel anything. life just keeps going on, and i take it in my stride. but i want to worry, i want to feel stressed, i want to just have exam pressures again, just one more time. without it, i'm afraid i can't do well for As, i really need the anxiety.

Os start tomorrow. for those sec4/5s, it seems it's a mammoth task ahead of them, surviving the exams. i don't really recall being stressed 2 years back, when it was my turn, but i guess i should have been, and not so apathetic now. wish i could hurriedly find back my exam stress and strive, just so i would have given myself a fair chance at a shot at the exams. i don't wanna regret anything.

seeing different ones with worry lines on their foreheads, sweat down their anxious faces, mugging like there's no tomorrow, i don't know what to do anymore. i'm so unlike them, living my slow and steady and slacky life, cool and calm, everything's just not right. if only stress was contagious.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

12:10 AM

it's been a rather horrific day for me. 11 dec 2009, NS enlistment. no cruise. no enjoyment. why must it come so early? something to look forward to after the Alvls just disappeared in the blink of an eye. and yet, with all that's going on these past few days, i really can't bear it anymore. 2 years back, and i would have been emotional, i would have surely acted different. but yet i've grown so cold-hearted and hard that i can't feel anymore. no feeling, no emotions. just a heart devoid of expression. i know i did the right thing. surely voicing opinions cannot be wrong, can it? what's more, it really isn't something false. i believe in what i believe is right. and it is time that someone made a stand, than allow a typical stubborn child to get his way with sensible adults giving in. putting it down to three things, self pity, self denial, self centeredness.

anyway, after the Alvls, i hope to totally forget about my njc life, and put it behind me. i do not wish to let unhappy memories blight my youth, looking back, maybe going to njc was such a bad choice after all.

Monday, October 19, 2009

11:52 PM

experiences do not maketh the man, but yet they influence ourselves. many ppl say that the place that defines you is either your sec sch, or your jc. after 2 years in njc, i still have to admit, rv was the place that defined me. it is just so hard to describe rv. the people there are just unique in a certain way, and each is not afraid to be pals across ccas, across classes. rv left me with wonderful memories, extraordinary friends who will stay with me for a long time. moulding my character, my personality, rv has made me who i am today. compare this with njc. much of njc life is not really pleasant, meeting all sorts of horrible people who have destroyed me in some way or another. despite this, there are of course some friends in njc that are different from the rest, and these i treasure. there is just some sort of uneasiness between people in njc, no such camaraderie that i can identify with. and yet, in these 2 years, i can say i've been a worse person than i was 2 years ago, due in part to the negative external influences that have blighted my stay in njc. graduating out of njc, i don't really give a damn, no feelings, nothing. compare this to graduating out of rv, and it's a whole different story. sadness, a sense of loss, that was rv. i couldn't bear to leave the school and part with my friends. while njc, what the heck. i don't feel anything for this school that has in fact not equipped me with much, rather most of njc life is unfortunately forgettable. someday i shall look back at my youth, and i would definitely say, rv has defined me.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

9:28 PM

i decided i've gotta post, after what apparently has happened.

professionally, teachers are supposed to teach their students the right way of doing things, helping them in their studies, and listen to their problems (okay maybe not this one). all this is done out of a passion for their students, a desire to see them grow up to be good upstanding citizens who can contribute to society, as well as being academically equipped to meet the challenges of a changing world. teachers do not expect anything in return, as they derive their sense of accomplishment from seeing students succeed, and knowing that they have played their part in that fulfillment. maybe they get their 'payback' sort of through their wages, but all else is additional and should be seen as a luxury good, and not a necessity. i mean, what kind of teachers expect (here i repeat the word, EXPECT) something in return from their students, just because they feel they have done such a good job and their students should (SHOULD) show some form of gratitude that is tangible? it's just not right for a professional job. sometimes, some students might want to express their thanks through lavish gifts and other means, but it's a choice of the students. and for all they know, their students might be so grateful and indebted to them deep down in their hearts, just that they do not wish to express it in the form of gifts or otherwise. after all, there are 5 different languages of love, namely, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, and physical touch (this may not be applicable). but it is just unbecoming of teachers if they want something in return for all their hard work, as in the analogy, it is not a right, rather it is a privilege.

as written on the MOE website:

Not everyone can be a teacher. Not only must you have the passion for education, you need to know how to engage the students in their learning, be a good role model and an inspiration to them and prepare them for the challenges of life.

A teacher is the heart and soul of a class, the pulse that keeps a lesson lively and engaging. Teaching as a career is an exciting journey filled with challenges and rewards. You play a critical role in nurturing the spirit of innovation and the passion for learning in our young, grooming them into all-round individuals. In turn, you will grow both as a person and a professional. Come take up this meaningful career and experience the wonders of teaching.

inferring from this, teachers are wonderful professionals who derive their pleasure from seeing students be grow as individuals and more. students are not required to give their teachers anything, be it gifts or others. rather, they can just be the best they can, succeeding academically and not being their teachers' worst nightmare. that should be sufficient for professional teachers, and not teachers who love little presents given to them for their effort put in over the year. a little gift should be something appreciated, and not something demanded, and even if there is none, teachers can and should take pride in what they have accomplished, and that is sufficient.

okay i'm done, wow it's a long post. and i just want to say, if we're gonna give anything, showing gratitude comes from the bottom of your heart. don't let it be that a motive (like u have to be grateful just so u get what u need) lurks in the deepest depths of your heart. because that is not true appreciation.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

10:50 PM

got back certain results today. not gonna post current results, but likely results: chem E phy E maths C. what a surprise. maths is like the least expected, yet i am really glad it turned out like this. as for chem and phy, i guess it was expected to be like this, considering i slacked off towards the end of the exams and just let chem and phy rot. but seeing these results carry me to Alvls is scary. and i hope i will do something about it.

so, it's finally reached october. the last stretch onto the defining moment. all the stress, hard work (or not), everything culminates now. it's also the time jc life ends. bittersweet.

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